Understanding your sexuality is a very beautiful process. It is often mistaken to be very confusing and frightening. But, being a part of a society with all those social cues, it could be a bit difficult. only if you let it be. As a kid we did what we wanted to do, we weren’t worried about anything, we didn’t care if someone was watching. As we grow up we become more aware and conscious of what the others will think or say. Especially, after puberty, we become sexually aware. We live in a world that keeps judging us every moment, not that we don’t judge. But if we are constantly worried about what others might think, we can’t live, we can’t live a life which is led by our needs, our desires and our passion. Its high time that you let go of all those fears of what others might think and be yourself. To do that you will have to find yourself first.
- Go back to all those things you use to love doing as a kid.
This exercise named tree of life has helped me a lot in tracing back my life, finding myself and finding what my passion is.
Our roots make us who we are, revisit your roots, your childhood.
- Give enough time to yourself, with yourself.
Solitude allows you to reboot your brain and unwind. It helps you discover yourself and find your own voice. It helps you solve through problems more effectively. Most of all, it enhances the quality of your relationships with others. By spending time with yourself and gaining a better understanding of who you are and what you desire in life, you’re more likely to make better choices about who you want to be around. You also may come to appreciate your relationships more after you’ve spent some time alone.
List out your wants and the needs behind those wants. Try to trace back your need, where is it coming from? Question your thoughts, your wants, your needs and your desires, do you want to do something because you need it from within or is it influenced by other’s thoughts? How much is your religion, society, schools, and media influencing your thoughts, your understanding, your perceptions? the key is to just question yourself, don’t be worried if you realize that your needs are not yours, most our needs aren’t our own, its alright! You can always start fresh, you can start operating according to your needs. Are those needs being fulfilled?? when your done questioning yourself, try and break those layers. those layers of guilt, shame, and judgments. This would help you to see the person in front of you without any of those layers, you will be able to see them for who they are.
- accept your self!
Initially its common to have low self esteem. You don’t have to reveal who you are to the world right away, take your time in doing that, but at least accept yourself for who you are. Some things can be done to build your self esteem,
spend time with yourself naked, it makes you comfortable with your body. Stop watching all those stupid commercials and stop reading all those magazines that keeps telling you that you are not good enough. Stop making judgements, accept others for who they are. Stay fit and eat healthy. And most important of all, Stay away from those people who make you feel bad about your self. True friends are those who accept you for who you are. [resource: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TEKBR9Q39a0%5D
Once you have found yourself and accepted yourself, it should be easy to find people who you like. You don’t need no guide for that 😉 . Even in finding what kind of people you like you don’t have to decide immediately! Take your time, in fact you don’t have to decide. You can always keep your options open.
so what does all this have to do with understanding your sexuality?? I don’t think I have an answer, I guess you just have to wait!